Funny Diagnostics Joke

Diagnostics

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies.

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal*Mart. Just give it a
urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to
do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than
a doctor.”

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal*Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample.

He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping at Wal*Mart.”

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter,

Joe hurries back to Wal*Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
(Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
Thank you for shopping at Wal*Mart

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