Funny No Respect Jokes Part One
June 3, 2009 · Published By Admin
“My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah..my wife just broke up with
her boyfriend.”
“I went to see my doctor… Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah…I told him once…
Doctor…every morning when I get up and look in the mirror..I feel
like throwing up; what’s wrong with me? He said..I don’t know but
your eyesight is perfect”
“I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor
told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.”
“I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a
brown necktie.”
“My dentist has bad breath……Why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.”
“My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him…If you don’t
mind I’d like a second opinion…he said… Alright…you’re ugly too!”
“I was so ugly…my mother used to feed me with a sling shot!”
“I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said… Are
you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said.. No..I hate
myself now.”
“I had a girlfriend that was so fat her belly button made an echo.”
“I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.”
“I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on
the back saying…Caution Wide Load.”
“My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent
maker”
“One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I
didn’t ride around her. I told her that I didn’t think I had enough
gas”
“I had a girlfriend that was so fat her bikini was made out of two
bed sheets.”
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips..yet
she won’t drink from my glass!”
“Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with
an ax!”
Comments
We encourage visitor participation by posting comments to articles on this site. By submitting comments, you agree to adhere to EVLiving's Terms of Service.