Zen Wisdom

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for

I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just pretty much leave me

alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a

leaky tire.

3. No one is listening until you say something stupid.

4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car

payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

Thay way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their

shoes.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,

and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was

probably worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

13. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from

bad judgment.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put

it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are

moving.

18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative

on the same night.

21. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too

seriously.

22. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to

make a big deal about your birthday … around age 11. (You get to start

again at age 100.)

23. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Phoenix AZ

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