The Sounds of Silence

Q.  When I turned on my computer this morning, it had no sound at all.  I restarted my computer, but still no sound. What should I do, Mr. M?

A.  When the silence is deafening, it’s time to do some troubleshooting: First, insert a music CD and look at the little light on the CD drive to be sure it’s playing, even though you can’t hear it. Let it continue to play so you’ll know immediately when you resolve the sound problem because you’ll hear the music.  (Brilliant in its simplicity, isn’t it?)

Next, make sure your speakers are plugged snuggly into an electrical outlet (if required), plugged into the correct port in the back of the computer (it’s usually green), and powered up. I know these three items seem painfully obvious, but one of them is usually the culprit.

Also, check your PC’s volume control by clicking the little speaker icon in the System Tray located in the lower right-hand corner of your screen. Click it once to view the volume slider bar. Make sure it’s up at least halfway, and that the “Mute” box is not checked.

Next, right-click the same little speaker icon. In the menu that appears, select “Open Volume Control.” You may see a new window with several slider bars that control the volume for different components of your computer. Make sure they are all up more than halfway and that there are no “Mute” boxes checked. If you have a volume control on your speakers, be sure to check that, as well.

If you use Windows Media Player (WMP), open it and press the F8 key, which is the keyboard shortcut to mute the sound.  Occasionally the F8 key is pressed accidentally, so pressing it again will unmute the sound.  (Bonus Time-Saving Tip:  Don’t bother looking up the word “unmute” in your dictionary. I have a pretty good feeling that it will be unfound.)

If you still don’t have sound after going through the above steps, and you’re using Windows XP, click Start > Help and Support. Under “Pick a Help Topic,” click “Fixing a problem.” In the left pane, click Games, Sound, and Video problems, then “Sound Troubleshooter.” Follow the on-screen prompts. In Vista, go to Help and Support > Troubleshooting > Troubleshoot Sound Problems.

If none of these techniques work, your sound card may have failed. That’s the bad news. The good news is that a sound card isn’t very expensive and any reputable computer repair shop can replace it in a matter of minutes.

Mr. Modem’s Sites of the Week:
First Aid Online
First aid is an essential, potentially life-saving skill that everyone should know. This site, created by U.K.-based St. John Ambulance, has easy-to-follow instructions for rendering CPR, treating burns and addressing a wide range of emergency medical situations.
http://tinyurl.com/6btanf

Heckle Depot
If happy, positive news stories aren’t your cup of grande decaf, half-soy, non-fat, double-shot, cinnamon mocha frappaspresso, perhaps you’d rather deliver a sarcastic, jaded message to others. In that case, the Heckle Depot provides a treasure trove of heckles for all sports, including golf.  You don’t hear many golf hecklers because they tend to whisper, but if you ever get within earshot, you’ll probably hear, “Take all the shots you need!” “Try aiming out of bounds!” or the always popular, “I’ll call in a backhoe to replace that divot!”
http://heckledepot.com

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