Making a first impression – one chance only

I don’t remember his name or his company. I do remember his industry and his face. And I remember he made a real impression on me. The impression is that he is angry, self-centered, self-serving, and out for his own good. Period. He made an impression! Not a good one – but a strong one at least…

I would never do business with him or refer business his way – based on my (and other’s) first impression.

Here’s the scene: I am at a morning networking event (I try to attend at least two events weekly) where we have the opportunity to sit at a table and exchange information about our businesses with up to seven others. This is a great forum because, unlike the thirty-second commercial or “elevator speech” venues, we actually have about two minutes to make a connection. You can get a lot done in two minutes if you plan it and think through what you will say.

The event I’m referencing is very popular… lots of people, lots of energy, lots of competition for some industries, and lots of opportunities for those who do it right. The reality of networking is that, in its most fundamental analysis, it is a sales presentation.

You probably know that while at networking opportunities you should not sell.  So is this a contradiction… am I confused? No. When networking you do not have the time or proper forum to deliver a sales presentation on your company, product, or service. You don’t have time to identify the prospect’s pain(s), qualify their needs or ability to pay. You don’t close sales at a networking meeting but you sell something much more important. You sell yourself. And if the person you are talking to doesn’t buy you… then the rest of the conversation, the rest of the sales cycle is moot.

My good friend Michael Goodman, founder of AzSalesPros, is fond of saying that there are three things vital to selling: trust, credibility, and interest. So if you are selling yourself – work at establishing trust and credibility. If there is an interest in your product or service, it will come up in the conversation – or in your follow up. Trust and credibility are paramount. Without them, the system comes to a screeching halt.

So how do you establish trust and credibility in two minutes or less? Let’s go back to my networking event and I’ll describe what this gentleman did.

He insists on going first and starts out by saying he’s not passing out his cards.

OK, I’m stingy with my cards too. I give them out when people ask for them rather than put them into the hands of everyone I meet. I think it is prudent to make a connection first, engage the person and see if I can get them interested enough to ask me for my card. Now I have the opportunity to ask for theirs and get into a conversation. The problem here is that the venue called for cards to go around the table… when you have seven other people who are happily handing out their cards because it is sort of the “rules for the game,” then play along. This guy spent his two minutes shuffling his cards like a nervous black-jack dealer in a run-down off the strip back room casino… Very negative non-verbal signals happening.

He opens his two-minute “commercial” by saying that he’s been to networking events like this before and nobody follows through, nobody gives him referrals, nobody follows up. He says that he’ll talk to you if you can send him referrals – how he is very connected, has untold hundreds of people in his data base and will help you if and after you help him.

Now those aren’t the words he used but that was the message he sent. Essentially he insulted us, told us that we don’t follow through and only would consider spending any time with us if we could guarantee referrals to him so he could make a handsome commission. Again – not his words but this was his message. Small wonder “nobody” gives him referrals or follows through. Would you?

His body language was irritated, aggressive, and very unapproachable.

Usually when you get a feel for someone’s non-verbal cues at least they are trying to say the right words… this guy didn’t even give it that much effort. He was pissed. He felt that networking events are a waste of time, effort and energy and his body and words communicated that clearly. What a delightful guy to meet at 7:30 in the morning! My question is why did he bother getting up so early to go? If that’s how you feel, do yourself, your company, and everyone else a favor and go somewhere else.

Trust, credibility and interest. You have control over the trust and credibility aspects of networking, interviewing, selling, and communicating. Instead of taking the “what can you do for me” attitude when you meet people, adopt the approach of “how can I help you?” Chip Lambert of Network to Networth talks about this philosophy at great length. It makes sense and Chip is the guy who can make sense of it for you.

Think about that for a minute – “how can I help you?” An attitude of service. An attitude of helping others first. Will this approach win in an interview?  I’d love to hear from some HR pros. My guess is that it absolutely will position you in a better light than your competitors. Thinking in terms of selling, a “how can I help you” attitude changes your approach from talking to listening. “How can I help you?” creates a mind set that thinks about the other person’s or company’s needs. It will force you to listen intently and think of great, probing, important questions to ask.

You will be different. You will sound, look and act apart from your competitors. Become genuinely interested in the other person by keeping the “how can I help you?” attitude firmly in the front of your thinking. If you are not sure how to do this, try the following. When you meet someone, ask them, “how can I help you?” That’s right – I mean ask them out loud… actually say it! That puts it all on the line doesn’t it?

I can almost guarantee you will take them by surprise. They will light up. You have their attention and you have taken the first step to establishing trust and credibility. Now, be sure you have this approach as a philosophy – not a technique. Remember, most of your communication (93%) is non-verbal; so if your words and intention don’t match up, you’ll make an impression like the guy at my networking event. If you are truly, genuinely, and congruently interested in others first; then all your language (verbal and non-verbal) will communicate that you are trustworthy and credible.

At least now, you can find out if there is interest… and away you go!