Championing Yourself

The concept of championing oneself is foreign to one’s view of oneself within the world. Somehow it has become shameful to publicly believe in oneself.  The prohibition of self championing was established long ago and is simply ubiquitous and has infiltrated the corporate marketplace, professional sports, interpersonal relationships, and everything else you can name.  The lack of self-championing is insidiously self-defeating.  A person doesn’t necessarily need competition-level talent to earn the right to believe in oneself and champion oneself.  Championing oneself is as important as good nutrition, exercise and a spiritual connection.

My parents never championed their children after they learned to walk and talk….I vowed to change that in my parenting style—and I did—including encouraging my children to champion him/herself whenever they accomplished anything—no matter how small or large.  Their freedom to champion themselves was short-lived, however.  Six weeks after my daughter entered kindergarten I encouraged her to ‘champion’ something she had done.  “Mommy, that isn’t nice—that’s bragging,” she declared, using a tone of authority and ridicule.  I was shocked and sickened—my well-planned parenting had been undermined in one fell-swoop.  Needless to say, I had a long talk then and later about the ways of the world—some people believe certain things and others believe other things.

Let’s look at the definition of Champion/Championing.  The definition includes—supporter or defender of a person or cause.  Are you a supporter or defender of you?  If so, how do you support or defend your beliefs, ideas, opinions, decisions, actions, accomplishments, successes and causes?  Have you thought about the importance of championing yourself?  Do you champion yourself for ALL that you bring to this world?

Champion
noun
1. In games, competitions, etc: a competitor that has defeated all others.
Thesaurus: winner, victor, vanquisher, conqueror.
2. The supporter or defender of a person or cause.
Thesaurus: defender, upholder, guardian, backer, sponsor, booster, supporter.

verb
championed, championing
1. To strongly support or defend (a person or cause).

adj
(N Eng)
1. Excellent.

adverb
(N Eng)
1. Excellently.

Others apparently have encountered the same prohibition as my children. For example: American Idol, Gedeon took some negative hits for speaking up and saying that he did well, while the other contenders hemmed, hawed, and otherwise demurred.  Some looked terrified to be asked, as though there was a definite “wrong” answer (or at least one that would make for horrible embarrassment). Ace blushed; Kevin looked defensive.

While it is difficult to remember when we were learning to talk and walk, rest assured your parents/caretaker, cheered when you spoke your first word—albeit garbled and maybe you didn’t say the word they thought you said.  Yet, because it seemed like a word they ‘championed’ you.  So, what did you think?  You were thrilled to have created such a commotion.  Wow!  What power you had with your world.  So, you did it again and again, each time evoking a reaction.  You experienced the same phenomenon when you took your first step. Your parents/caretaker cheered, hugged, kissed and created an even bigger commotion than before.  Parents/caretakers continue championing for other achievements until the child has ‘mastered’ the task and for some reason the parent/caretaker has the mistaken belief that once a task is mastered championing is no longer important, thus they give cursory championing for subsequent success for the same task.  Consequently the impression is conveyed that subsequent championing on that success is unimportant.  It is as if they are saying ‘You haven’t done anything new.’  If and when the child does something new they are championed.  Hm-m-m- the message is clear—Unless, I do something new, novel and/or earth shattering, my achievements aren’t worth recognizing/ championing—and the doldrums of life set in at a young age—unless and until something new is accomplished. This sets up the pattern of experiencing everything we do as a ‘task to endure’ rather than a ‘task to enjoy and champion’ oneself for accomplishing.

Like American Idol, Gedeon, my children were forced to restrict ‘championing’ him/herself at will, whenever, or to whomever they chose.  However, they have become outstanding adults championing themselves in whatever they accomplish.

It was a challenge for me to encourage them to continue to champion him/herself without thinking she/he had broken a coveted rule and would incur the wrath of the anti-championing police.

So, it goes—even though we are restricted whenever and with whom we can champion ourselves in society—one can champion oneself.  Give yourself credit (champion) for everything—your beliefs, ideas, opinions, decisions, actions, accomplishments, and successes, for having come this far, for achieving your goals, for being the loving, giving, dynamic, talented, awesome person you are. Championing oneself doesn’t mean we cease to strive to improve on our skills, talents and performance.  Just as a child gives his/her best effort to say the first word or make the first faltering step—the incentive to improve is created through experiencing new and different tasks. Likewise no matter how much one champions oneself, there is the natural drive to do something better.  Championing yourself gives you the added joy—it is like frosting on the cake.  The cake is good, but it tastes better with frosting.
Just say it with gusto, “Wow!  You did a terrific job,” and notice how you feel. My hunch is you will feel that long forgotten sense of having the world at your command as you did when you said your first garbled word and took your first faltering step.  You deserve to feel that feeling with every thing you do.  It is your birthright.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach and Inspirational Leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net.