The grass is always… grass

We often think that the ‘grass is greener’ on the other side of the fence, meaning that we sometimes look at what other people have and we think it’s so much better than what we have.

We look at our body and wish that it resembled someone else’s.  We look at our home and we wish that it was more like someone else’s home.  We compare our spouse to other spouses and find ours lacking.  We watch our children and wish that they acted more like other people’s children.  We think about our job and wish that we had someone else’s job.  We peer through our windshield at other people’s cars and wish that we had theirs.

Does it ever stop?  Can’t you always find someone else who has something that is more to your liking than what you have?  Of course you can, if that’s what you are always looking for.  When you refuse to be satisfied with what you have, you will always find thousands of examples of situations that are better than yours.  Everywhere you look, the ‘grass’ will be ‘greener.’  It’s because your mindset filters all the information that is available to you.

If you, instead, shift your focus to finding examples of people that are less fortunate, you will find just as many, if not more, examples of that as well.  For every person whose physique is more desirable than yours, you will find several old, obese, or infirm individuals.  For each home more lavish than yours, you will find hundreds that are less comfortable than the place you call, “home.”  For each spouse that you believe would be a better mate than yours, you will find dozens of abusive, neglectful, and unfaithful partners that you haven’t chosen.  It’s all in your focus.

If you are constantly on the lookout for things that are better than yours, that is exactly what you will find, over and over and over, and you will be continually dissatisfied.  Nothing will ever be good enough and you will always be striving to get something else.  That’s a very unhappy way to live.

If, instead, you focus on how your situation is not as bad as it could be, you will find yourself grateful more often than not.  Most of us have so much luxury that we have really forgotten how bad things can get.  It’s easy to count yourself lucky every day that your house isn’t underwater or on fire.  Never mind your square footage, you haven’t been pulled, screaming, from your house at gunpoint.  You don’t have a fancy car?  Well, at least it didn’t blow up when you started it today.

Learn to discover that the ‘grass’ is never ‘greener,’ it’s always just ‘grass.’  Different ‘grass,’ maybe, but ‘grass,’ nonetheless, and the ‘grass’ you get is as good as you’re gonna get.  Might as well enjoy it.

Marlo Archer, Ph.D.
Down to Earth Enterprises
1250 E. Baseline Rd., Suite 102
Tempe, AZ 85283
(480) 705-5007